| Of Sunsets During Sunrise |
[Nov. 30th, 2009|08:46 am] |
Under the dim light of my monitor and sunrise, I'd like to take this time to elaborate on my love of sunsets. At UCSD, I had the luxury of seeing sunsets any time I wanted. Our dorm room suite view looked like this. 
No I'm not even kidding. Since then, I've lived in various cities. I only consider myself home when (1) I've locked myself out and (2) I find somewhere to see a sunset over water, or in the landlocked cities, at least a nice park with a body of water. It always manages to brighten up my day and put things in perspective. And a chance to jam to music.
Because interestingly enough, I rarely see other people in my places of solitude. Here, at the end of an unremarkable set of townhouses, lies a view of the ocean in the midst of a mini-forest. It's a 4 minute walk from my house and my little haven. I've sung countless songs at the tops of my lungs without a complaint (not necessarily an indication of talent).
 
 Further up Twin Peaks, above the parking lot vista point everybody knows of, are two 360 views of the entire city. I'll bike there when I have time and motivation, but I have to admit, after finding my little haven, I rarely go up there anymore. But I'm always happy when I do.
Down and around the corner, is Sloat park. I always see dog walkers. Dogs make me nervous on a bike, but I am happy that others are basking in the sun.
Continue further north, you'll hit Golden Gate Park, a 1,017 acre of city park heaven complete with a waterfall, a windmill, lakes, and bison!
 
The city peaks out behind this one. Head west and there is Ocean Beach, with yes, the Pacific Ocean lapping at your feet. Although it's often times too cold for this, I at least try and dip my hands in.  They say the best things in life are free and I think I've truly internalized that lesson. All I do is bike and cook. But how impressive is it that, in the second most dense city in America, there is room for so much nature? The green (and blue, and purple, and orange, and so on) nurtures us and gives us an escape from the grey concrete. It reminds us that there are important things in this world that aren't man-made and thus, can't be bought. It provides the critical link between us and the environment, and makes us lovers. For who in their right mind would willingly destroy their own sanctuary?
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| Chicago and MI |
[Nov. 24th, 2009|11:53 pm] |
With Jackie almost graduated, my mom decided to pay her a visit and I decided to tag along. It's hard to be green while traveling, with all the transportation and eating out, but I did my best. Luckily, my mom decided to follow my lead- she didn't look at the map once!
First, we opted for public transit instead of a car. For any big city, I would always recommend this option. Chicago's public transit is impressive and fast. It put us within walking distance of everywhere we wanted to go, whether museum (science and industry, field, both free), the bean (left), Hancock building (below), comedy club (free improv show), or food. We only missed the subway twice, and both times the next subway came within 7 minutes. Once it was 10:30pm on a weekday. That's impressive. I was musing as to why the SF Muni can't follow suit and joked it was because Chicago Transit Authority would face riots if people stood out in the snow for more than 7 minutes. Hmmm, seasons. Imagine that. By the way, at the Hancock building I would highly recommend going up t the 96th floor for cocktails, forwarding the $16 you would normally pay for the observatory towards food. Brilliant!
 The Chicago bus system was clean, quiet, and new, but had too many stops (like bus systems usually do). When I caught the bus (so I could take the luggage) from our final dinner to Union Station (Chicago's Amtrak station), my mom beat me walking. She said the bus would pass her, then get stuck at a light or stop, and then she'd pass it, etc. This actually happens to me a lot when I'm biking. Then, depending on whether there is a hill or not, I am beat or beat the bus permanently. Thus, I rarely take the bus in SF, after biking for a year, I quickly learned where the worst hills were and always avoid them. Or, in the case of my house, take the least offensive version.
Then, off to Ann Arbor to Jackie! As I gave away before, we took the Amtrak, which was $26/person (AAA membership discount) and 4.5 hours. A rental car one way would have been $195 (I'm not even kidding, I did a print screen) and 4 hours (says optimistic google maps). Plus, the rental car was available at the airport, which is actually 15 miles from downtown. Union Station was (obviously) walking distance. The choice was easy, and I'm glad we had it!
In Michigan, we carpooled (such as to get 2 miles from amtrak to her house), but mostly walked/bused. My sister lives very close to campus and the bus systems were free for everyone. We took it to go eat downtown and even stayed in to cook some nights! That ensured the leftovers we took home didn't go to waste, and it's always greener to cook in.
Finally, on our last day we rented a car to go to Detroit and the airport. My sister has a Zipcar account, which is a great company that parks cars all over an area (usually a big city or campus) and rents them out by the hour, covering gas (up to 180 miles) and insurance. You also have to pay a $50 yearly membership ($35 for students) and a one time $25 sign up fee. In SF, the rate is $7/hr which means combined with public transit and/or walking, there really isn't a need for a car in the city. And who can pass on the chance to drive the coolest cars (e.g. the BMW 3 series and the Prius and Insight hybrids)? We chose an Insight about 2 blocks away from our last meal in Ann Arbor and zipped (ha ha) off to Detroit.
 Detroit was only midly depressing, but we had a lot of fun. Some hightlights were Belle Isle (which was going to host a Formula 1 race, which is why they had those fun red/white stripes around turns that made me feel like I was playing Gotham Project Runway) and seeing Canada across the water! But my favorite part was, hands down Southern Fires which I found off yelp. Check out how happy I am in the pic! That entire thing cost us just over $20 with tax and tip, sweet! Clearly this was a trip of green and of cheap, I can't believe I found so many fun free things to do. The food was all very good too, I'm so thankful to have friends respond to my call for food on facebook. Most importantly, I was happy to see Jackie in her new home. She found a job just over the border in Ohio and they'll be living in MI. Congrats Jackie!
What a great trip! |
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| Bar Exam |
[Nov. 22nd, 2009|04:07 pm] |
I don't know why the make you wait so long to find out the results of your bar exam, after 4 months, anything is painful. But I suppose 3 days of testing (that's 12 hours of essay, 200 multiple choice) would take a while to grade...
Not realizing I would be down at my parents house, I actually got to my bar results 5 hours late. And when I finally got my numbers to put in, I excused myself from my friends to go check. I came running out screaming in joy 1 minute later.
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIII PPPPPPPPPPPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSEEEEEDDDDD!!!
And yes, of course I was worried. The test was hard- I didn't know a single who walked out and said, "Nailed it!" And it's so awkward having to field questions for 4 months that you can't really know the answer to. And when people say "Of course you'll pass," you have to smile and nod but really think, "How would they know???"
Longest, hardest test of my life. $1300 in bar prep (a 66% savings- $900 forwarded to a Meat CSA (so worth it!). Most popular facebook status update I've ever written. I still can't believe it =D
Thank you Mom and Dad for your support! Thank you Uncle Jeffrey! Thank you all my friends! |
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| Sudden Rain and Treasure |
[Nov. 6th, 2009|03:19 pm] |
As a Californian grown kid, the concept of seasons is a little jarring for me. I love my skis so I see snow every winter, but I have to carpool 4 hours for the privelge. Today, it's a rainy (and misty where I live) in San Francisco. This meant riding in rain, which I normally try and avoid to the greatest extent possible. But somehow when looking at it from 2 stories up it didn't look too daunting and by the time I was dressed and outside reality failed to check so I got on my bike anyways.
It was surprisingly pleasant. I had layered up and was biking mostly uphill so stayed warm. Just had to squint my naturally squinty eyes a little more to keep out the rain (if you squint hard enough, you can see beads of rain still on my jacket and that my pants are two different colors). I hopped in the shower to warm up and all was well.
For lunch I cooked parmesan chicken. This was the remaining breast and thigh from the scrawny chicken I had bought from the farmer's market on Sunday. In my haste to buy $4 organic and sustainble chicken, I neglected to see that it was being sold by an egg farmer. I'm guessing the chicken was tough from being old and free roaming. After a miserable failure at bbq dark chicken quarters (even after brining) I quickly learned the lesson and soaked the rest in lemon juice and then brought out my cooking skills. See, there is no such thing as a cheap piece of meat, there are always ways to make meat juicy and tender. For chicken, I like to pan sear it on high on the stove before sliding it into the oven. See Pan Roasting. This seals in the juices and then allows you to cook the insides slowly.
Today, however, I chose to insulate the chicken by breading it, hence parmesan chicken. It tenderized completely (and I didn't even have to use the meat mallet!). While the chicken was cooking on the second side, I used the other half of the pan to heat up the tomato sauce. Then when both were done I cooked a side of vegetables. Here, my Asian side shines through again. I've managed to pair parmesan chicken with bok choy. And even though most people discard the bases of vegetables, they are quite tasty cooked. Notice them on the bottom right of the picture.
Now I'm off to pick up a free garlic press a la freecycle. A community network that keeps stuff out of the landfills by giving it to others. One man's trash is another's treasure. |
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| Rainbow Groceries and shopping amongst the hippies |
[Nov. 1st, 2009|05:19 pm] |
Today, for the first time, I shopped seriously at Rainbow Groceries, a San Francisco Co-op. I had been there once before after Carolyn told me about the bulk spices because I needed a cumin for a thai curry recipe. I bought a tiny amount, which came to less than $1, and put it in a re-used bottle too, so awesome.
This time, however, I was checking out the entire store. Carolyn has bravely decided to keep me honest so we went shopping together. The meat thing wasn't a problem because, well, they don't sell meat (freakin' hippies!). I still didn't buy to much stuff, but did get some fruffy eggs, which were local, free-roaming, cage-free, organic feed, bladdy blah blah. At a stunning $4.49. I still have some non-fruffy eggs leftover, so I think tomorrow morning I'll cook one of each egg and see what the hubbub is about. I still don't think I'll be able to taste the difference.
Then we went off to the farmer's market, which is my favorite place ever for sustainable food at a sustainable price. The Heart of the City Farmer's Market is my favorite farmer's market I've been to. Competing with at least 4 other farmer's markets that I know of in the city, it is the cheapest probably due to its questionable location (right by my alma matter).
Today, we got there pretty late, around 3:00ish, when some stalls had already closed up. While many will tell you to get to the farmer's market early for the best pick, quite honestly, I find the vast majority of the produce is of great quality and when the farmers want to go home, they'll give you awesome deals by the bag. $1 for 10 persimmons, $1 for 6 tomatoes (oh so red), and $4 for an entire local, free roaming, organic feed (blah blah, I just didn't care enough to ask) chicken. EXCITING!! I'm almost regretting my meat CSA because I wouldn't mind only buying chicken if it's going to be about the same price as my non-sustainable alternative. The same farmer's were also selling eggs for $4/million eggs so I'm really kicking myself over the hippie store but now I know =D.
LOCAL, SUSTAINABLY GROWN, HAPPY CHICKEN = HAPPY JANET!!!!! |
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| Ecotarian |
[Oct. 27th, 2009|11:45 am] |
There needs to be a new word, one that describes what I am doing. Think flexitarian but with a sustainability motive, not health. Sustainatarian, oops, already taken. Oh yes, ecotarian. Here we go.
According to the reputable source, Wikipedia, when an ecotarian makes "a consumption decision, they consider the impact on the land of growing the product, the impact of transporting the product from where it was produced, and the labor conditions for the people who grow the product." Sweet.
The other night I went out for sushi with Michelle, who is the classiest person in my life. While I was busy shopping for 99 cent/lb pork roast, she was shopping for a sustainable and local goat roast, straight from the farmer (at the farmer's market). *Sigh,* she certainly has me beat. But then again, she had a 5 year head start.
During this 5 year head start, she realized that food should be eating slowly, with company, and cooked by yourself. That the toil and labor was of love, but most importantly for her, of knowledge. Specifically of what fats went into a food (e.g. Sour cream in cheesecake). For me, it's giving proper value to food. She cuts down on meat for health reasons, I firmly believe in the environment. We are so very different, but the same too.
So here it is, my final concession. At least 80% of my meat and seafood will be bought from sustainable sources. It'll probably be closer to 100%, but I'd like to give myself room for error, perhaps for when I throw a dinner party or go out to eat. And while I was originally going to implement this plan for when I had a job and more dinero, I've decided to do it now, when I have Carolyn to support/subsidize/split a potential meat CSA, or in conjunction with others, a quarter of a steer (=D).
After doing some research, I'm about to sig up for 15 lbs/month for $85 from Marin Sun Farms. A "holistic farm" with 100% grass-fed beef. It sounds hippy-dippy, but it really matters how we grow our meat. Holistic farms, like the one in Part III of Omnivore's Dilemma that I was so delighted by, closes the loop that industrial farming leaves wide open. Meat, and their waste products, are not inherently bad for the environment. A holistic farm would apply the waste to fertilizer/back to the land, and because there isn't an outrageous amount of demand, they can actually do so. An industrial farm, packed with hundreds upon hundreds of animals, piles it up to form shit geysers. Awful.
And I won't deny, this move is hard for me. I love meat, even if my consumption has dwindled. But even more heartbreaking, the cheap Asian in me is dying from the prospect of paying almost $6/lb of meat. In my head chicken should be $.59/lb, pork $.99/lb, non-steak portions of beef around $2/lb and steaks around $5/lb. And let me assure you, that these are prices Safeway or Lucky's has at least once a month.
But more than my love of myself, is my love of local community, of earth, of fair labor, and finally, of always trying to live with my ideals.
p.s. Grass-fed beef is also supposed to taste better, which I experienced first hand at Mission Beach Cafe with their amazing grass fed burger. Oh burger recipe, how you improve yet again! |
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| Credit Card Companies (Only pay the prinicipal, that is what you borrowed) |
[Oct. 14th, 2009|06:52 pm] |
Back in the summer (or whenever it was that SF had nice weather) I watched a free performance by the SF Mime Troupe, a political comedy theater group (that surprisingly, talked). They did a 2 hour play about the financial crisis, making an allegory out of a small village (America) beseeched by a witch (the credit card companies). At the end they made us (the audience) all yell that we would not pay the credit card companies anything but our principal, because that is what we borrowed. Nothing but the principal, nothing but the principal.
At the time, I found the play rudimentry and simplistic. Right, the credit card companies were just going to waive away this consumer debt, that people had willingly taken upon themselves. About the same time, I opened a Macy's Visa card to get 20% off a friend's wedding gift. Then I used it the next month when I had left my primary (and only) credit card at home. And unfortunately, I failed to make that payment on time, due to a very crappy website that apparently did not register the payment I had so painfully made (you try registering for e-check under macys.com, it's abysmal).
So they sent me the next statement, saying instead of $41.34, I now owed $58.34. Figuring it for some kind of joke, I ignored it and hoped they would sort it out themselves. I was wrong. I started getting calls, approximately 3 times a day. Sometimes I'd pick up, only to be put on hold. One time I actually talked to somebody and told them about the error. They said they'd look into it.
Well, suffice to say, nobody did anything, and I continued ignoring phone calls I did not want to field. But today, 4 months after that statement balance, I called them because I now owed $120.34, minimum payment of $93.00 Ouch, as somebody who never carries a balance (I almost exclusively use my credit card, but more to keep a written track of my spending, as cash has a funny way of disappearing without a trace), this was insane.
So I got on the phone and explained what happened. They asked if I had a confirmation number of the transaction. Um, maybe, but now, 4 months later, yah right. Then they had me look at my bank statement and sure enough, nothing had gone through. And while they said I should've known, it was my first time paying via their website, I had no idea what to expect and frankly, I thought filling out my routing, then banking number, then clicking submit payment (or whatever I did, I forget it was a long time ago), was sufficient.
But I held my ground, $84 (because $41.34 was my principal) is a lot to pay for nothing, even if you can. Very quickly $58 fell off. I asked to speak to the manager (which the associate said would not do any good- this is, for the vast majority of the time, a lie). Another fabricated $21 gone. Finally, they were sick of me and no matter how I argued (now, to the manager's machine since suddenly, he/she was unavailable) I couldn't convince them to take off the $6. That's cool, considering the card initially had saved me like $50 in the first place and some machine had spent a long time trying to reach me.
Talking to credit card companies is fun, especially if you know you are good for the money and were just fucking with them in the first place. But I can't imagine if I hadn't been good for it and I had watched every month as $41.34 became $58.34, became incessant phone calls, became $89.34, and finally $120.34 before I decided to put an end to this sick experiment. And now, while my credit rating may be shot, I'm sure I'll still be able to exist on one card, and the nice downpayment I'm saving up for will be sufficient for that house one day. Here's to hoping I never have to use credit for more than I can afford to pay. And SF Mime Troupe, here's to you! Maybe some will have taken that message to heart. I can't believe how easily they'll make shit up and then just as easily swallow the same. |
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| Yup, more on food (diversity) |
[Oct. 13th, 2009|01:34 pm] |
I think the most interesting part about food is it truly binds us all together. I still remember the only decent conversation I had with a girl who was absolutely reviled by our high school for her unabashed know-it-all-ness, was about food.
I like the multitude of preferences, revealing individuality. My good friend Fiona, also a recent bar taker with too much time on her hands, exploits her time with desserts. Cupcakes to be exact. Apparently she has perfected an Irish Carbomb Cupcake, enough so to enter into this year's Iron Cupcake Oktoberfest Challenge: Beer. Sweets are something I would never master on my own time.
Last night Carolyn made the last of the last entry's pork into a meatloaf and then, since the oven was already pre-hated, threw in a banana bread. The result was the most perfectly crisp on the outside, moist in the center banana bread I have ever had the treat of eating. She didn't even have to cheat with bits of chocolate, it was astounding on its own ground (with nuts and dried cranberries). I arrived in time to catch the end of her baking technique. She didn't use a timer or anything but her own innate ability to just know when it was done. Something akin to my connection with meat, I suppose.
I've watched my uncle put together Taiwanese stews composed of shitake mushrooms, tofu, carrots, pork and other possible mysteries. Ingredients I rarely ever use (ok, except the pork), but so familiar from my mom's kitchen. And thus, my uncle, who so rarely makes a scene out of food (unless it's to half-berate, half-compliment me for making him delicious meat that he can't refuse and causes him to run off to the gym out of guilt), puts together my comfort food. A dish that remind me of home, but I am afraid I will never find the time to learn.
Some people astonish me with their cutting skills, perfectly julienned carrots for homemade vietnamese food with fish sauce (seriously? I just gladly hand over $6), Michelle's deft hand in severing a round loaf of olive bread and exquisitely arranging it next to a small bowl of olive oil and balsamic vinegar, finely chopped cilantro that seems impossibly perfect, and so on. Others come at me with dishes I never would have tried otherwise (e.g. Julia's beet soup when I asked for Russian cooking, yummy). And Aimee, "the best cook I know our age," is a wizard in the kitchen- I can never predict what she will deliver, or from which part of the world.
But through it all, we stand together in our respective kitchens, creating and sharing. Masterpieces to be devoured. Without a doubt, consumption in its best form
p.s. On Friday I scored a box of green beans for $5 (last call at the Cupertino farmer's market) and another box of strawberries for $7. What does a single gal do with two boxes of food? First, I divided it amongst home and my friends. I don't know what my mom did with her side, except probably to spread joy, but I made good use of my part. First, I made sauteed onions and green beans with salt, garlic, and white pepper to compliment Jess's orange chicken and rice- extending a 2ish person meal to feed 5. With the strawberries, a team in the kitchen composed of Jon, Jess, Carolyn and myself made waffles from scratch (thanks to Jess's mixing and Jon's waffle iron), with a choice of sugared strawberries, whipped cream, maple syrup and/or chocolate syrup, and sides of bacon and fresh-picked-rosemary hash browns (thanks to Jon's rosemary bush- I love that thing and Jon's grater). The hash browns were a first for me, and may I say, were "amazing" (said Jess). One of the few things I gladly paid for at breakfast, but it looks like that meal has all but been claimed by my home cooking. Also note that besides the orange chicken, rice, and bacon, heavy whipping cream, all items (excluding spices, but including garlic) were local and organic. Which just goes to show how far I've come in the kitchen and how I just need a little more, in the form of a meat CSA to go all the way.
p.p.s. Also went camping this weekend and because I refused to do much planning, ended up cooking breakfast over the fire with one pan and a fork. Ended up with scrambled eggs with tomato, bacon, bacon greased toasted raisin bread, and banana boat smores (Carolyn's creation to the delight of Jon and Daryl). Not bad, not bad at all.
p.p.p.s. While mountain biking this weekend in Santa Cruz, Jon took a jump and crashed- cracking his helmet in two places. The ride was awesome (and, obviously, scary) but luckily, my accidental jump went much better. May return in 2 weeks for a friend's b'day bash. |
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| Further Culinary Adventures (Grinding Meat) |
[Oct. 7th, 2009|04:28 pm] |
A couple years back, my friend's dad taught me how to grind beef. It certainly makes sense in terms of the "Burger that Shattered Her Life" but on a more basic level, a cheap cut of beef should not be cheaper than the ground version (even if they do add unrevealed variables). But my house is a constant dearth of cooking utensils (can somebody say chopsticks?) so without a food processor, I could never really follow up. Plus, I stopped eating so much beef so it became a moot point (although last week, I had to have steak after a 3 week haitus- but only .5 lb servings for me and my friends!).
This week, Safeway was having a sale on bone-in pork shoulder blade roast at 99 cents/lb. So I bought 4 lbs, with the intention of deboning and then making ground pork of it once I found out Carolyn had a food processor that she never used. However, upon further reflection, I decided it'd be a waste to waste the bone (yes, that's how ridiculous my waste-reducing has become), so looked for roasting options. I figured I could also make good use of the flat 1/8 2 liter bottle of Dr. Pepper (that I had drank over the period of 48 hours in an attempt to beat it's flatness...a disgusting endeavour that will never be repeated).
Enter my first, and of course successful, braising experience. In short, braising is browning the meat on the stove top before you put it into the oven, half submerged in liquid. I'm not sure why it's only half covered- probably to retain the brown but not lose out on the slow/low temp cooking. I "cooked" it for 5 hours, although I use the term loosely since really all I did was let it sit in the oven for 5 hours at 175 degrees. It turned out beautiful, a nice Dr. Pepper braised pork shoulder with meat that fell off the bone with a simple tug of the fork.
I fed it to Carolyn who was astounded that pork could be good, as her experiences with it were dry and tasteless. I've actually heard this comment a lot when I cook pork and it makes me sad, apparently American cuisine has killed vegetables AND pork. Growing up, I didn't know the difference between pork and beef, both were served in thin, flavorful slices that still make my mouth water (no really, I'm literally salivating right now). After reading a cookbook today, it appears as if most of my pork cooking brethren takes it out too late. So hint, when cooking pork, you have to take it out 5-10 degrees below what you want it to be (which is 175 serving temperature) at a, get this, medium doness (A random internet source). But this has nothing to do with the braising, there is no way to get medium doness after 5 hours of cooking. It's soft and tender from sitting in its own juices.
The next day, I took a fraction of that leftover pork, pulled it apart and added it to onions on the stove while toasting some wheat bread with a slice of cheese on top in its juices. Oh god, such a delicious pulled pork sandwich. Bread soaked in meat juices = brilliant.
In conclusion, $4 of pork became Turkish Kabobs (over a bed of summer squash and zuchinni), a beautiful braised pork roast, multiple pulled pork sandwiches, pork broth, a future pork hash, and a future meatloaf (which will probably contain pork and turkey, instead of beef). It's enough to feed me and those lucky enough to be fed by me for days and days. And this is what amazes me most of all. That $4 can be so versitile but last so long. So while Safeway also now sells frozen meals for an "everyday low price" of $2, I'm just going to have to pass. Wouldn't want to get ripped off now. |
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| Steve Jobs |
[Sep. 30th, 2009|04:33 pm] |
First read Generation M Manifesto , a beautifully written open letter to the "Old People Who Run the World" including such gems as "You turned politics into a dirty word. We want authentic, deep democracy — everywhere," You wanted exurbs, sprawl, and gated anti-communities. We want a society built on authentic community," and You wanted growth — faster. We want to slow down — so we can become better." But then it goes on to eleborate on who is Generation M. "Obama, kind of." Wrong, he is our saving grace in a political foray so stupid and ineffective, that even a fillubusting Democratic majority can't pass the public option. "Steve Jobs." Wrong. And here is where I really draw the line.
Apple, with their ridiculous markup on computer products and accessories ($46 for a wired Apple keyboard vs $10 for a PC one, really Apple? Really??) without increasing function and limited customization (my friends and I built our PCs), is obviously not my cup of tea. But, hey if you want to spend more for the same (or worse), then no problem. That is your choice. But you cannot tell me that a man who has a mere knack of convincing misled American consumers that they need to once again, mindlessly consume, is a hero by any means.
Apple does not rank well on Newsweek's 2009 green index. It comes in at #133, behind HP and Dell (#1 and #2, respectively), Microsoft (#31) and even Walmart (#59). Apple consistently is out-performed by competitors, even in the areas its "I'm a Mac" series touts (from a Macworld article: "Apple has a poor history here, often failing to provide OS X security fixes for flaws fixed on other platforms days, weeks, or even months earlier." Steve Jobs, despite being a multi-billionaire, has no records of comparable charity ("Giving USA Foundation, a philanthropy research group which publishes an annual charity survey, said Jobs does not appear on lists of gifts of $5 million or more over the last four years. Nor is his name on a list of gifts of $1 million or more compiled by Indiana University's Center on Philanthropy.") According to the same WIRED article, Steve Jobs has barely mustered an opinion on social and political issues. Well, unless you count hinting at to downright lying about the PC's shortcomings as a social issue. Hint, it's not.
So, Stevie, in your black, black turtle neck. I'm glad you made a full recovery, but please, let's cut the bull crap. You and your company, with unfettered greed, inattention to pressing issues, and unrepetant triumph of shallow over substantive, are decidedly not Generation M. For the love of God people, stop the madness and let him earn that saintly status. |
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| Rejection, what they didn't teach us in kindergarten |
[Sep. 3rd, 2009|04:37 pm] |
I just recently turned 25, and on schedule I am a law school graduated. Before that, I graduated on schedule from college. Before that, K-12. I've learned a lot, in fact, I'd venture to guess I'm over-educated. But during all these years of schooling, they never taught us the most important lesson of all. Rejection.
Rejection, or the fear of it, still stifles me today. In my entire school career, I only really remember two rejections (1) from my jr. high soccer team (which was ok, because I, unlike most soccer players I know, still have two functioning ACL's) and (2) when I lost ASB Activities position (which was ok, because since there weren't enough people to vote for me in the first place, there weren't really enough people to remember I lost). I was woefully unpreppared for both of those tasks, having only been to maybe 2 ASB meetings prior and only having PE soccer experience. And in both those realms, I succeeded in other ways (e.g. MVP for track and field, ASUCH Treasurer)
Job hunting is the same way. Love is the same way. Now, I won't name any names, but some of the most successful people I know, brilliant, kind, and attractive, cannot for the life of them handle dating rejection. I can't handle job rejection. I mope around and wonder what I will ever be good for. This in turn, means I apply for a paltry small amount of jobs and accept whatever offer comes my way. Instead of doing real job hunting, for fear or real job rejection, I've been skating by. Sometimes, like today, I procrastinate rejection and apply for a job so late the position has been filled. And, I wanted that job in the first place.
So no more. I met with the career services counslor and we've revised a decent resume that even makes me a little impressed. I'm keeping track of sites, I will network, I will apply to jobs, on time. I will not let them slip me by, I will not let myself defeat me.
As for my friends afraid of love, for crying outloud, you have a fuckin' job so don't make me throttle you. Take a chance, get rejected, take a chance, get rejected. That's life and it's not a lesson you'll learn in school. But unfortunately, to live, it's a lesson that has to be learned. |
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| My Ears Are Too Small |
[Jul. 18th, 2009|07:19 pm] |
Actually, a more accurate statement would be: my ear canals are too small. Now normally, this is not something one notices, lest blog about, but it has created quite a situation for me in the ever important realm of earplugs. Yes, a blog about earplugs.
My first foray with earplugs was back in my first year of college. Like other college freshman, I was trying out new things, in this stereotypical, conformist, attempt to find myself. In this case, I was trying to find myself some GOD DAYM SLEEP, and if you will remember (for some of you more recent viewers this is an impossible task so I have linked an aptly entitled journal: My Life Sucks So Bad) it was a trying task that I ultimately did not succeed in. And, as demonstrated by the CAPS before, this still ticks me off to no end.
Back on point, during that time, I tried my first earplug. It was bright orange and squishy and came in a pack of four. Unfortunately for me, I lost all four pairs instantly, as they never stayed in my ear for the whole night, no matter how many times I read and followed directions. Attempts with other earplugs have been no less unfortunate.
But, after many trials and errors, I discovered my mp3 earphones (these Sony's, but now I use a $5.99 no-name pair after breaking about a dozen of the former, including feeding one to my rear bike wheel) did the trick perfectly. The earbuds come in 3 sizes, of which the smallest finally, finally, fit snuggly in my ear canal. For every single law school exam, I would enter with my mp3 player, boot up my laptop, and wait until the very last moment to unplug my mp3 player. Wait, who does this??? EARPLUGS FOR EXAMS REALLY???? Ugh, law school is an endless slew of neurotic behaviors picked up without notice and accepted as normal.
Anyways, for the bar exam, they don't allow connected earplugs, so I dropped by Walgreens to once again foray into commercial earplugs. My search for children earplugs were in vain (yes, I was willing to be muddled in with children for this endeavor) so I finally picked the most expensive pair, at $4.99 (discounted from $7.99, thank god) after reading every single discription. They are some sort of fancy silicone and screw into your ear.
Can anybody guess how this story ends?
THEY FUCKING HURT AND NOW I AM CUTTING APART AN OLD PAIR OF EARPHONES (see, it's lucky my most expensive pair of earphones broke after just one year and I kept them as a reminder of my stupidity) AS EARPLUGS. FUCK THIS SHIT. CONSUMERISM, YOU ARE DEAD TO ME. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 8th, 2009|10:57 pm] |
Another peace I find in life is blogging. Or, in this day and age, emailing (which really, is blogging for one person). I like turning phrases in my head, writing them down, "scratching" them out, and starting again. I like using a word, pondering it again, perhaps replacing, perhaps not. I like recording my thoughts for somebody, anybody to see. Even if that somebody is just my future self. It seems, I've always been happy to talk to my future self.
While writing, I always think I'm rather clever. I amuse myself with my own musing. I think my word play is uplifting. However, upon re-read, I see it in a more unforgiving light. Endless ramble. Trite drivel. I still write. Perhaps, more telling, I still go back and read.
Now a days, I write for myself more and more. There is nothing as stifling as an unresponsive email pal. And LJ is too public, oh how law school made me wary of the masses. Here, OneNote comes in handy. My personal notebook is locked, but instead of using it for financial information as Microsoft suggests, I keep my thoughts. Unupdated facebook statuses. Starts and stops of emails. Half-written, now abandoned LJ entries.
I rarely go back and look at notes when I compile a final draft, but "writing" it down must, on some level, keep it in my head. But the delight of discovering an email path unused, lost in these notes, is unparalleled.
I murder my thoughts with commas. But broken fragments accurately reflect my thought process. A thunderous start, a stutter to think, a final conclusion. My holy trinity.
Here, is another journal that would be utterly self-serving. It is just me pondering my thoughts. I always wonder, in these situations, should I post? Is it worthy? Now that I can conveniently keep my thoughts safe without the help of an online journal, shouldn't it exist only to display those thoughts I find truly newsworthy? But I'm a creature of routine. I find solace in free comforts, in the same activities, in the same people. To sum up, eating and to a much smaller extent biking. How could I possibly find anything newsworthy now?
So I censor myself. Now, not because of hate of others, but perhaps it shows a hate of myself. That my thoughts don't deserve your attention. Well, perhaps they don't, but this is my journal, so you will suffer. Wahahahahaha (see how my voice changes upon realizing this will be public?). Although it might be a mistake to take this for low self-esteem rather than consideration. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 5th, 2009|12:05 am] |
I spent 3 years of my life waiting. I spent it waiting for a day that came and passed. I promised myself I wouldn't spend another moment waiting again. So what is this studying for the bar exam?
This is 10 hours (not uninterrupted) of exploring the law that I knew before (err, should have known before). It's 10 hours of chewing on thoughts, 10 hours of noticing gaps in the instruction, 10 hours of cramming, 10 hours of watching videos and, 10 hours of modifying provided outlines. It's 10 hours of wondering why the hell I didn't buy supplements my first year. It's 10 hours of wondering why I sat through law school in the first place- I could've passed the bar just by taking this course!
Then I remind myself, that most importantly it's 10 hours of thinking, wow, I learned a lot. Now, whether I've forgotten the little intracacies or not, I can't deny that when I face the MBE (Multi-wait-now-i-can't-remember-what-that-stands-for-nor-if-it's-the-right-acronym-j/k multi-state bar examination) questions I get a gut reaction. There is something deep inside me that knows this. And sometimes, I swear my outlines are completely deficient so I stare at the answer choices thinking it through policy wise. Other times, I know the right answer but I hesitate. Too easy, I think, this must be a trick.
But don't get me wrong, it's not. They are easily the most convoluted questions I have ever seen. When the day comes that they start mixing the 14 subjects together, I'm sure I'll cry. But for now, getting a D is cause for celebration in the land of bar-exam-istan preparation. And when I get a question wrong, most of the time it's because I tripped up the convoluted language in my head or, because I think they are dead wrong. That's right, I don't agree with your stupid answer or your paltry analysis.
Of course, whether or not I agree with them won't be relevant when they grade the daym thing. But let's just focus on the positive for now. That I no longer wait, because I am truly interested in getting this down (okay, Rule of Perpetuities can kiss my confused ass). At the very least, it's much more straightforward learning than law school ever was. I sincerely can't believe they boiled down a semester's Tort class into 3 days. For that alone, I should kiss Themisbar's non-existent virtual feet.
And now, off to bed, so I can get up and do it all over again. Except! Opera at the ballpark tomorrow!! |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 3rd, 2009|02:26 am] |
Tonight I missed the last bus of the night by just 10 min. In a spurt of insanity, I decided I should race it back home in hopes of catching it for the last uphill. While wearing "hooker" boots, a long peacoat, a turtleneck, and a huge backpack. Ended up biking 40 min straight mostly uphill through mist so thick, it almost felt like rain. Never caught the bus, but I made it back home in one piece, showered, invited people to my graduation via email, tried to write this journal in haiku (but I never quite managed concise), partitioned my disk in preparation of installing Windows 7 Release Candidate and now, am finally ready for sleep.
Oh, and did I mention I took a 3.5 hour final today? Yah? Good. That's what life after law school classes is =D |
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| Bar Trip |
[Apr. 15th, 2009|01:41 pm] |
It is customary, while waiting for the bar result, for law-not-students-anymore to take a bar trip. It's to celebrate 3 years of intense studying, 3 days of intense testing, and a step into a new world.
So I've been hearing ideas for bar trips for a while, but I have to admit, nothing sounded that appealing. I didn't really feel like traveling outside of the US. I did Europe after college, have been to Asia countless times (but will keep going, hopefully hitting up southeast asia at some point), but even South America and New Zealand which have been on my list for years didn't feel right. I wanted to stay home.
Yet, when Omeed wrote an email about visiting Montana's Glacier Park (probably the last weekend of August), my ears immediatley perked up. A trip out into nowhere, discovering hidden-to-me secrets of my great country? Yes, please! And then I though, hey, how about I make this more insane, and bike some of it and train the rest? Then how about "I" becomes "we" and all of the sudden, this bar trip is actually looking real (and safe, and fun). And how it fits me and my increasingly green (aka insane) lifestyle perfectly.
So if you'd like to bike over 500 miles (probably the 800 from portland down to SF) for about 2 weeks, then let me know. If you'd like to follow Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintence (except fast foward through the boring middle part and excise the motor from cycle completely), then let me know. If you want to see glaciers because they may disappear during our lifetime, then let me know. Because then you see that this isn't insanity, but rather, a last grip on reality. Let me know. |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 10th, 2009|09:06 pm] |
Today I made surprisingly good ramen. And I suppose by surprising, I mean surprising to myself, the best standard.
That is all.
OH just kidding, of course I'll eleborate. So unlike college, I've upgraded about half a step in ramen because my uncle buys the elite, in terms of instant ramen, asian style ramen. You know, with oil and seasoning. So I took this and boiled it in homemade stock. Then in another pot, I worked my chicken (deskinned and deboned by me) and after a while, vegetables also in homemade stock. When the ramen was boiled, I put in the provided seasoning, let it boil more and then added egg and enoki mushroom.
OMG, I couldn't believe how good it was!!!!!!!!! The noodles were only slightly soggier than at a restaurant, but the meat intensitivity made up for it, whahahahahaha =D. Enoki mushrooms, good call Janet Young, good call indeed.
And, of course, it is surprising that I can still LJ about ramen after all these years. |
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| Last ASUCH Meeting |
[Apr. 1st, 2009|11:58 pm] |
In my 3 years of law school, there has been one bright light. It is unequivocally ASUCH (Associated Stuends of University of California, Hastings). Through the 1L self-esteem bash, through the 2L job panic, through the 3L slackerdom, it is one thing I have done well and one part of law school that doesn't make me cringe.
When I look back at it, I can't even believe it sometimes. Ran against 6 that first year (and the more I know those 6, the crazier it seems), pretty much shoed in for the 2nd, and 3rd, a hard but fair campaign. I know people look at me and think it's a joke, after all the community is only 1200 constituents in a school. But let me tell you, every speech I made during a debate, my heart raced. Every vote I cast, I believed in. Every policy I changed, will stay. There is nothing but honor in taking something, becoming an expert in it, and changing it for the better.
In my 3 years in ASUCH I only lost one motion I debated against (which eventually got recalled), and never one I debated for. I always went above and beyond my required service hours. I sat on the finance committee until I chaired it as Treasurer. And as Treasurer this year, I held the keys to over $50,000 and developed a policy rationale that was fair and just to every student org who applied. I stood firm by it when others would falter under the pressure of lobbying- that was difficult. I revamped a critical form for the school, I created spending oversight for student orgs, and I made a family of 5 staunch allies who headed committees, asked the tough questions, created an amazing tracking system for ASUCH and the perpetuity of ASUCH, sat on my own committees, and bounced lofty policy ideas with me. I honored process and tried to honor my fellow ASUCHers. I took the ASUCH constitution and my office seriously. I have no regrets.
If this is the last time I hold elected office, well then, it's a sad day today. But if this is the first step, the first step to achieving my dreams, then it's only the beginning. I'm hoping for the latter, as I wind down my last semester of law school, my final notch in continuous education, my one last preparation for real world before entering it. Please God (in whatever form an individual believes you to be), let this be the beginning. Let this be the beginning. Let this be the beginning. |
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| Too Easy |
[Mar. 17th, 2009|11:10 pm] |
Another culinary success (despite dire warnings of how awful corned beef was).
Meat is just too easy. |
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| Dating has not been going well |
[Feb. 24th, 2009|12:08 am] |
But then, when does it ever. Anyways, it would depress me but then look what I found  !!
Then I found the "Insert Image" link on top of the lj box. FML.
[edit] Oh, in case it's not clear, the image was created after a 62 year old raked for 4 hours in the sand for his wife. And yes, I did once date a "Jeff." |
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madcow23sg's journal
